Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize