Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
