i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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