Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
ok first of all what the fuck
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
