Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
