Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
