new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
