Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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