Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
