He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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