are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
