Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
