I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
