He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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