the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
