He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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