Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
