So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
