I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize