He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
