He kissed a someone with a penis
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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