My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
