I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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