I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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