i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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