Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
