Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
