using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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