I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
