Christians are straight up FREAKS
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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