I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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