Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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