we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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