I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize