He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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