What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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