So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
