i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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