There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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