I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
