Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
