You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
