I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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