so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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