can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
