I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
