im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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