Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
