I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize