If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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