You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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