doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
