dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
