you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize