areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
