Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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