I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize