It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
farters have to be the big spoon...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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