CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
