i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
