some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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