Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
