HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
