now i know why i became what i already was.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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